20
December

My Struggle with the Worlds Perception of Beauty

My Struggle with the Worlds Perception of Beauty

Over the past weeks happenings (multiple photo shoots) and a starting obsession with Nip/Tuck, I can’t help but speak out on our worlds misconstrued vision of beauty.

First up I need you all to understand that most of what we see in the beauty/fashion industry is a downright LIE.  I am not accusing models of not being beautiful, of makeup not performing certain effects or of clothes not actually being as impeccable as they appear… however through photography effects, photoshop and some MAJOR editing the end results of everyday media are usually a VERY different take on their original reality.

It has been bothering me, as well as my boyfriend (he came with me to one of the shoots and could not believe the insane transformation process) to see the extremes and all the hard work put into making the images of perfection we are bombarded with every single day. This goes for the ladies as well as all the gents out there.

I do not understand peoples obsession and persistence to obtain physical perfection.  I DO understand how good it feels to get a haircut, your nails painted and the confidence the perfect shade of lipstick can bring.  Plastic surgery and eating disorders I do not.  Not to say I haven’t been there myself.

When I was seventeen I was signed to a modeling agency.  The first thing I was told (weighing 120lbs and standing five feet ten inches tall) was that I had to lose an inch and a half off of my waist.  I told them (and myself) they were crazy.  However, after a while the idea started to seep into my head a bit.  I would be cast for fashion shows where the producers would reduce girls to tears from telling them not to eat the whole weekend before the show.  I would see girls half my size sipping on Slimfast, dining on celery sticks and almonds – nothing else.  I was told that if I lost that weight I could be international – that they would send me to New York.  How could it not get to/influence me?

I became paranoid of eating anything with any kind of fat.  Butter on bread, vegetables like avocado and olives, even 2% milk for Christ’s sake!  I became fearful of fat and that I would not be “beautiful” or “professional” unless I dropped the weight.  At a certain point the only thing I was eating was carrot sticks.  I cringe reflecting back to this point in my life where my actions seem so foreign to me now.  Now, I would tell all those idiots to go and shove it.  Back then however I was young, naive and vulnerable to these mind malleability’s.  At a certain point my skin turned a yellowish hue, I experienced extreme fatigue and my hair began to fall out in unhealthy amounts.  My body was crying for some proper nutrition.  Not to mention I had a full time course load, almost full time job, boyfriend and two families to divide time between.

I don’t remember exactly when or why I snapped out of my “thin hypnotism”, but I do remember that it was out of being scared straight.  With the unhealthy state of my body, I had finally grabbed my reality goggles and looked myself in the mirror.  After I saw this empty shell of a person who had put all her dreams, efforts and wills into being skinnier I was able to realize the wasted effort and energy and move on to perfecting myself in more beneficial ways.  Through my projects, my passions, my work and my family and boyfriend.

I have never told anyone this.  At the time it was something I struggled with in silence because deep down I knew how silly it really was.  How everyone would accuse me of being crazy.  I was and am lucky because I am very strong and stubborn – and something inside of me kicked my ass back to the real world (like it always seems to do).  Some others are not so lucky though.  When you are dealing with depression it is impossible to pick yourself off the floor and make the right decisions for yourself – sometimes you need that guardian angel to save you.

So ladies and wonderful gents of the world.  I understand that everyone wants to feel good about themselves.  That that is a HUGE benefit to falling in love with fashion, cosmetics and personal style.  But please, do not let your exterior define you.  Because no matter how much surgery, botox, lipstick or dieting you may impose on yourself it will never hide or change the person within.  The beauty that shines through everything you do.  Keep reminding yourself whenever you feel down from reading a magazine or watching a fashion show the sacrifices these people are making to be like this – and that their unhealthy mentality is not beautiful.  Despite what people may think of me, I have the same ups and downs and intimidations as everyone else.  I feel lows and highs and are over critical of myself.  All we can really do is pay more attention to ourselves and master the art of loving every part of our bodies.

I challenge you all to take a moment to look in the mirror and smile at everything that makes you beautiful.  To just take one moment to relish some much needed self appreciation.

We are human, not meant to be perfect and never will be.

Stop trying to fix what ain’t broke!

Tags Posted under Paranoia, Personal by Robyn

14 Responses


  • Such a great post mama, I hate the worlds perception of beauty, it totally stinks. and especially does for women of color too cause they’re way wayy far from what is “supposed” to be beautiful, with the really thin bodies and long flowing blonde hair.

    by: mimilainna, Dec 20th at 11:49 pm

  • Oh WOW Robyn, this was such a thought-provoking post. And so brave of you to share such a personal piece of your history! I am so glad that you had the willpower to overcome this, you are a true inspiration!

    P.S. How addictive is Nip/Tuck and how scary at the same time because even though it is a fictional drama, you know it happens in everday life (well the whole obsession with beauty/plastic surgery, etc. that is ;)

    by: Sarah, Dec 21st at 12:50 am

  • Loved this post. Just read in InStyle magazine December issue: “These days when women turn into 40 they look like Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston…” Such a lie. These people spending thousands of dollars every year for plastic surgeries and beauty treatments. A women in 40 can be still beautiful without those but will never have the body shape or a skin tone of a 20 years old girl.

    Also I’m working with Photoshop a lot and I know what can be done there…

    I have a feeling magazines and the media always want to keep us not feeling good about the way we are…cause than we always wanna measure up and we will keep on shopping…

    It’s easy to realize this after a while…but young people can be a easily a victims of these lies…

    Great post!

    Wishing you a wonderful holiday season, much love: Evi

    by: Miss Eve, Dec 21st at 4:00 am

  • Ps: ops…I meant they spending HUNDRED thousands of dollars LOL.

    by: Miss Eve, Dec 21st at 4:02 am

  • This is an amazing post that I think sooo many girls and women can benefit from. Thank you for sharing your personal experience, not too many people like doing that. It is unfortunate that the goal to become what media sees as beautiful is a never ending battle for women of today.

    by: Evelyn, Dec 21st at 12:48 pm

  • I want to thank you Robyn for your courage and honesty. I must admit that I was a bit worried about you, seeing how thin you are. I am now reassured.
    I wish you Happy Holidays with the ones you love.
    André

    by: proginor, Dec 21st at 12:49 pm

  • Robyn-
    i adore you!!! i adore what you wrote- i admire your strength,courage, honesty and most of all your beauty that shines through your glowing skin and out of everything that you do!!!
    xx

    by: J Mac, Dec 21st at 1:58 pm

  • Hi Robyn!

    I understand you are trying to make people see that the beauty portrayed by media is not necessarily a universal beauty. Not everyone could be thin/blonde/tall/tanned etc. However, I have to disagree with you that being skinny is unreal, unhealthy and unnatural. Simply because it is. Just not for everyone. And this is what people don’t grasp. It angers me that some people think that every model struggles for her/his appearance. I don’t and I don’t know anybody with an eating disorder in Montreal’s modeling industry, REALLY I don’t. Nothing is wrong with media either, because media really doesn’t give a s**t how healthy you are, all they want is to sell you products. This is what they do, it’s their job, no matter how immoral it seems. People should stop believing the s**t that is being fed to them.

    by: Natalia, Dec 21st at 2:35 pm

  • Natalia, thank you for your comment! I think you are absolutely right! My build (as well as yours) is naturally smaller. I don’t think you, I or anyone should be penalized for it! I know many models in the montreal and international industry and many of them are just that – born tall with good metabolisms and are at their own very healthy weight. The thing that bothers me about all of the media garbage (shit as you said) is that people believe that it applies to EVERYONE. They don’t look at themselves and adjust what is possible to them, they look at themselves and see that nothing can make them into that. Unless of course going to extremes (and even then with no guarantee that anything will come of it). I guess I’m just venting that the world really needs to start accepting different types of beauty because I’m not so sure people’s self esteem issues will ever change without it! I have also personally known many models and regular people who have struggled with anorexia and bulemia… it is not something that people put out there in the open. My case was not an extreme and I was able to hide my fears and habits from those closest and most inquisitive to me. Things are not always as they seem…

    I agree with you that you have to be strong as to see through all the fake, however many people just don’t have the advantage of actually seeing the reality behind photoshoots like you and I. They believe that people can look like that in real life all by themselves.

    Media does not give a shit – I agree. Their morals fly out the window if they can become rich. I just think it is sad how many people are depressed, suicidal and never happy with the beauty they themselves possess. :(

    by: Fashionista514, Dec 21st at 2:49 pm

  • That is definitely thought-provoking. I am seriously concerned with how the industry tends to force us to believe that “imperfection” is something to be ashamed of. Beautiful post and so glad you shared something so deep with your readers. Btw, your new blog look is incredible!

    xo
    Sophie

    I’m loving the Zara bag!

    xo
    Sophie

    PS: I’d love to invite you to join my Blog Birthday Giveaway! I’m giving away a Gossip Girl Inspired Headband!

    by: Sophie, Dec 23rd at 5:43 pm

  • You’ve taken the words out of my mouth girl. A very nice post, an eye opener for some hehe ^_^

    MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS GIRL !!!

    by: Ems, Dec 24th at 1:29 am

  • I didn’t get to read this post before, but I’m glad I read it today. Great thoughts! As the one commenter, Miss Eve noted: if we feel like crap, we’ll have more incentive to buy the products that promise to fix everything. There’s a very unhealthy connection there: because it is to the advertiser’s advantage to make us feel bad enough to need what they are selling.

    You and Natalia are correct: love the body you’re in, if it’s skinny, round, apple, pear, whatever! Also, shopping and new products can be fun. If we can go through life in right mind, truly understanding ourselves and loving ourselves, we’ll make good choices, and buy what we love, rather than what we are told we need.

    by: EmilyKennedy, Dec 28th at 10:17 am

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