514 Outfit Post – What’s My Role?

514 Outfit Post – What’s My Role?

So I’m almost done the three Fifty Shades Of Grey books… shitty series (as I’ve said over and over again), but I figure with only three hundred pages to go (and a hype I still have yet to understand) there must be some kind of hook at the end that makes it all worth the gruelling repetition of descriptive sex scenes and inner insecure girl monologue that never seems to end.  I’m all for an erotic novella or cheap romance read, but this mainstream fave is far from captivating (I don’t really even understand what they’d make a movie out of…).  At this point I’m just waiting to either watch it all pan out the same as Twilight, or for some giant revelation to blow my mind (I’m doubtful… expect to hear a detailed rant when all is said and done)…  My iPad (which I am completely smitten with) has an interesting lineup downloaded and ready for mental consumption as soon as I trek through the rest of this last book.

Anyone read/have any insight into the following books?

  • Thing of Beauty, The Tragedy of Supermodel Gia by Stephen Fried
  • Hungry by Crystal Renn (I find her extremely hypocritical considering her dramatic weight loss after this publishing of this book…)
  • Animal Farm by George Orwell (a classic I’m guilty of never reading)
  • The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (a sin to see the movie without reading the original text first)
  • Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson (I may be the last person on earth to read this one… worth it?)
  • Not Taco Bell Material, A Memoir by Adam Carolla
  • YOU Being Beautiful, The Owner’s Manual to Inner and Outer Beauty by Michael F. Roizen, M.D. and Mehmet C. Oz, M.D.

 Annabelle’s BB cream has been my go-to skin improving staple since I landed it… the corrector stick is my crutch when it comes to cancelling out redness on my waterline.  I still have to play with the transparent end of the stick (line filler), but have been all about complexion perfecters this summer (if you don’t have the perfect skin to pull off the edgier looks you want to play with, what’s the point?  You’ve gotta walk before you can run…).  Blame it on the shorter hair, but for the first time in my life I’ve been craving excessive eyeshadow (and haven’t been getting impatient in the pursuit of applying it) as opposed to my go-to lipstick.  Picking up palettes left, right, and centre and having fun mixing the shades a la smokey editorial style.  Unfortunately upon editing this batch (yes, I have to enhance beauty shots – my skin is far from perfect), I realized I missed out on the mascara application (to whose effect I rather like… a touch softer than the norm)!  In any case, the aquatic shades are making their way into my beauty routine (a refreshing option when a beach is nowhere in sight)… something so mod about them… or maybe it’s that they are a less “pretty”  version of purple (a shade that hasn’t seemed to die down as a beauty trend over the past few years – season in and out).  When you’re naturally as pale as I, it can be hard to jump on board the self tanning/bronzer/gold summer staple bandwagon, so instead I opt for cool and glamorous tones that look more dressed up than beached out.  While I love boarder waves, peachy cheeks, and stained lips (I understand the need for simplicity when the weather goes sweltering), on the breezier days why not add a touch of impractical perfection to your basic makeup routine (deep red lip, sculpted cheekbones, glossed eyes)?  Try it, there’s nothing cooler than a true blue.

On an entirely different note, I’m having extreme difficulty accepting my role as a woman.

Call it a “coming of age” where babies, marriage, mortgages, career, and increased responsibility come into play all at once, but there are so many things creating/leaving contrasting views in my mind.  I think I need to talk to a variety of older women on more of a personal note, because I don’t know how they do it.  I think I hold my own pretty well considering my youth (I know when things are blown out of proportion and need to be left alone), but as far as role models and society is concerned, there really isn’t anyone public to look up to for guidance in accordance to this transition in my life.  Enter the importance of family and former generations… I wish my grandmothers were still alive to ask them how they coped with so many children (without help), keeping their homes in line (and men), and running successful careers at the top of their industry.  I’m not one for feeling sorry for myself, but it seems that there are numerous emotional casualties women have to face regardless of position, financial security, and ethnicity (that are deemed normal).  Sure there are the elementary complaints of periods, menopause and childbirth so easily pointed out (and just as easily disregarded by many), but what about the pressure for physical and inner beauty (plastic surgery, brazilian bikini waxes, and being selfless included), abundant femininity, second-nature sophistication/class, an overwhelmingly high sex drive, intellect, moral ground, and homemaking organization?  I am by no means a feminist.  While voting, birth control, equalization and reciprocity are great general gender neutralizers, there still remain many factors that leave women on the end of the modern-day suppression stick.

I have always loved the image portrayed of both what being a man or woman is supposed to entail.  I love it when ladies embrace getting dressed for pleasure, the ceremonious act of arranging yourself to fit your mood/mind frame.  The quiet strength we yield, the power we possess through beauty and charm.  The upper hand when it comes to detail and family.  Opposingly, I love a man in a suit.  I love the protective nature, the aggressive and blunt testosterone-fuelled gentleman who stands for something and treats his lady right.  Call my views outdated (and they may as well be in this day and age… forgive me for thinking Mad Men), but there is something very appealing about the fairytale-like stereotypes we are constantly coerced to play.  Truth be told however, the fairytales of reality are fuelled by hard work, compassion, unconditional love, eventual hardship, loyalty (a tough one for many to muster), and a lot of button mashing to the point of brawls when it comes to the person you’re with.  Enter roles – the “meet me halfway” decided version of splitting tasks and achieving compromise… except can you really compromise in a relationship?  To truly be flawlessly happy, your needs have to be met.  Needs are specific to the person they live in, and more times than not impose on others in their pursuit of fulfillment.  One will always win, while the other lose when it comes to non-negotiable essentials.  Sure you can be paid back in a sense (if not only from the happiness generated from the winner or exchange it enables), but then when can you really say no when it’s something that’s on your own refuse-to-budge list?  As vital as it is for both people to voice their opinions and concerns in a relationship, there is a vulnerability women have that men could never gain actual perspective on.  The sensitivity and emotional hurdles that accompany abortions, body image (and the bullying/sexual harassment so many women put up with consistently), self worth (manipulated and morphed through loose and damaging words), childbirth, aging…

I mean, without a doubt men feel pressure in the same right towards their roles (whatever they may be) and masculinity, I just don’t know exactly how invasive or all-consuming (boys out there speak up in the comments below!).  While my issues on the topic have less to do with self perception, it is what’s expected of me that’s eating me.  In a world full of every freedom, do you choose to give into definition and set practices, or do you play by your own rules?  Would your own rules even stand the test of the everyday?  Would they survive (or even prevent) divorce, heartbreak, harm, loneliness, and controversy?  Are the rules and roles set in place a calculated act to grow a particular community, or are they established, repeated and turned into tradition because of their efficiency?  Is the strive for self control and strict discipline an unavoidable truth destined to forever haunt/enhance our lifestyles?  Regardless of what everyone else is doing, my interests align closer to the satisfaction successful career-driven individuals feel when they conquer a client.  I’d prefer to hire someone to clean my house than do it myself.  I want to do things my way, and when I want.  Let’s face it, I’m from the “instant gratification” generation (and it’s coming to the point where it’s biting me in the ass).

I grew up very sheltered and very spoiled by undivided attention, love, and positive compliments.  I was deathly shy (I only talked to my family and best friend until I was around seven… I’d hide behind my parents whenever anyone else asked me anything), and I never really had to do chores (except make my bed – which I still didn’t do most of the time).  Everything was always looked after for me, and anything that wasn’t (and left to my own devices) was usually a completely disorganized catastrophe (mitten losing, lunchbox missing, homework incompletion… you get my drift).  To make a not so long story much shorter, I have drifted along on a cloud my entire life (where I still currently reside).  Bad thing?  Yes and no.  I’ve always been known as the naive one, and as you may be able to guess, that’s not always the most redeeming quality in a world full of betrayal and two-faced people.  I have a unique inability to see the worst in people.  A good thing, until you find yourself in a potentially dangerous or uncomfortable situation.  The unfortunate thing is, I’m starting to believe more and more that the majority of people’s intentions are more destructive than they are progressive and content.  Naturally, the blend of actuality and age come crashing through my door and start trying to whisk me off my oh-so-comfortable cloud…

I guess I’m having a hard time holding on.

What I’m Wearing

  • American Apparel black lace bra
  • H&M transparent tee
  • Mavi jeans courtesy of Boutique Onze
  • Studs graciously given to me last Toronto fashion week from Serge!
  • Janet Miller custom tahitian pearl & vintage diamond family heirloom ring
  • Michael Kors silver belt
  • Miss MAK convertible purse
  • Christian Louboutin pumps

(H&M silver coated summer sweater – reflects the sun off gorgeously!)

Obsessed with their blue jeans polish collection…

Gorilla butt


Tags Posted under 514 Outfit Post, fashion, makeup, montreal, My Makeup, My thoughts exactly..., skincare, Uncategorized by

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